Pool, Amnesia, Sleeping, Reddit

Went to play pool a couple of weeks ago at Cityheroes and found something new that I'm interested in. I also invented a few new styles of playing, only one of which I've decided to keep using after the incident with the ceiling light. Post-pool I saw the below par film Immortals, but I got my fill on popcorn and some decent action so I guess it was worth it. One highlight of the night included seeing a guy getting an 81,000+ combo on Dance Dance Revolution. The craziest bit was that he wasn't Asian.

So the other night I went with a group of guys to play Amnesia: the Dark Descent. To be honest the majority of the game was rather slow paced and relatively boring, but worth it for the scary moments. The puzzles were beyond irritating and ragequit worthy on separate occasions. However many highlights include: when Pop came out of the closet, the melting portrait, forgetting to close the door (biiiig tip for those who plan to play). Hopefully some of it was captured on film and will be posted up on YT soon. For those brave soldiers who plan to play this game alone, I'm glad I've known you, goodbye.

And for those who are too scared and require a party, then have fun sleeping the night after. I had great difficulty sleeping despite being awake for 30 hours straight, however by the time I did fall asleep I slept 18. Now my sleeping routine is so messed up I might as well throw my clock away.

I saw a joke on Sickipedia that was really meaningful for once.
"Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world." Shiiiiit son. I've also browsed Reddit endlessly for trivia, jokes, and anything remotely interesting which has resulted in quite a lot of good results. Too many to share, but I definitely recommend a good browsing of that site.

Lastly I must recommend To Sir with Love (Korean film) as it was one of the best movies I've seen in a looong time. Be careful not to download the other films as many films have the same title and have nothing in common. (Unless of course you have morals and whatnot and want to rent.)

"Have you ever heard of a penile brake?"

Some of you may know I tutor primary school children at my house. Well fortunately this week I got some serious bug that's fucked up my throat which means I've avoided teaching for another week. This is like the 10th time, and when I called up the mother, she was borderline pissed off over how often I'm sick. Oh yeah? Well your youngest son is a fucking retard. How do you like that? How do you forget the concept of subtraction? FFFUUUUUUUU

I was reading the newspaper the other day and saw some guy who's a minister of racism or something like that. His name is Tokyo Sexwale. That's an African name, so I'm assuming it wasn't so funny when he was growing up, but his name is Tokyo Sexwale. Wow, gg.

Had a sleepover at a Lebanese mansion the other day and watched Hatchet which is an awesome horror movie. I then watched the sequel by myself which was equally awesome. For those that saw the first one, you gotta see what happens next, also more cool murders, very gory. Very excited about the trequel coming out next year.

The formal is coming up soon and may be the last time the grade is gathered together. I wish I had my own suit, but my mum is giving me handmedowns. The suit is so old the white fabric is turning yellow. Thankfully I'm not a girl and have to go through all the makeup and hair bullshit. Anyway hope everyone has lots of funz.

Recently finished watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer which was frickin' brilliant. For those that don't know, it's a supernatural/drama/slice of life with some horror and some comedy thrown in as well. 144 one hour episodes is quite a commitment, which makes watching it very easy to put off. But the best thing about it is the maturation of both the actors and the writing, with the first season very PG rated but the final season has lots of depth and development. Joss Whedon is the creator who also made Firefly, Dollhouse, Angel and Serenity and is a fucking genius.

New things, old things and future things

During the school holidays I had the wonderful opportunity to do lots of things I've never done before. I turned up for my first court hearing, and despite how formal and respectable a Court of Law seems, the lawyers/magistrates/registrars were joking around before and during my hearing. Also, the waiting room outside was filled with bogans and crackheads which left me with no sense of belonging.
I'm also seeing a 'natural healer' who's clearly a gypsy trying to consume my youth. She makes me drink some weird concoction and I have to do acupuncture every week, which I've never tried before.
I also got a crepe at Mothers Crepe which was pretty awesome. PS I have coupon for their stuff, so ask me if you want one.
I also went jewellery shopping a couple months ago and went into one of those high class ones, where everything is white and only old people work there. They even had an old school scale used to weigh the diamonds and shit. Then I went to a more mainstream store and it suddenly seemed really cheap. Then I went to an accessory store and found the true meaning to cheap. After going to that super expensive store and realising one ring is worth more than me, it put perspective on value for me. And I've also decided to never get married cos that shit is waaaaay overpriced. I'll get a Burger Ring or something.

Lots of people have asked me where names/nicknames come from. Starting with 'Bob'. Quote A. Chin: "it was back in the first weeks of Year 7 on the Carlingford services. Think Fifi asked what your name was, and you answered Bob. Then Fifi introduced you to everyone as Bob. Think the name stuck ever since." This was after I asked him where the hell my name came from since I'd forgotten myself.
Gamers have also asked me quite often where 'tadfg' comes from. Well the first time I made a gaming account it was a Runescape account. Since I had no names in my head, I just mashed the keyboard and tadfg popped out. So I've used it ever since.

I saw an awesome quote by some junior on Facebook: "If you keep comparing today to the past, you will never improve. The only way to improve is to compare today to your vision of the future". His name is Bob so I'm not surprised he's so smart. I Googled it just to check if it was original and I found no similar results. Not bad junior boy, not bad.

I bet most people have been thinking over the last few months what they hope to do after the HSC. I too have been thinking this, and so I made a short list:

• All you can eat buffet with friends/eating competition
  
• Horror movie marathon
• Oddball marathon
• Start a new MMORPG
• Grow a moustache
• Empty out my anime 'plan-to-watch list'
  
• Find the seven dragonballs

One of those is obviously pretty impossible. Every time I watch something, my plan-to-watch list just gets longer.

My advice for those stressed during HSC, play some Magical Banana!

"Magical Banana! Banana reminds me of yellow! Hai!"
"Yellow reminds me of the flames on that day..."

Hospital

Although most people know my situation now, some people I haven't had a chance to tell what's been happening. Couple of weeks ago an incident occurred which led to me being admitted into a hospital in the psychiatric ward. Although I believed I was perfectly fine psychologically, the doctors were convinced I needed some time to 'rehabilitate'.

Anyways, that's over and done with, but there are still lots of issues to resolve regarding my HSC, university course choice, and place of residence as well as further therapy and legal issues. Thankfully I've avoided criminal charges but I am still due to turn up in court this month. Due to all these issues and exams coming up again, this blog will have to be on hiatus again until next month at least.

Not to worry though, everything is fine, I'll be back to my usual immature self soon enough.

For now I will post random pictures I took on my phone.

Spray some of this on yourself and people will be 'mirin'.











Found this in the waiting room at the doctor's. This belongs in the same series as Bob Fail.











Watching Gintama on TV. Somehow even funnier than before.










Totoro the rock star.















Hoooly shit someone used too much Mirin seasoning 'cos you be 'mirin. Look at all the glitterz in my hat.









Good luck everyone with whatever you're doing and don't name your kid Jugem-Jugem Shit-Tossing The Life Of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider 1/3True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betreyal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is a Different Dogfish,I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Angler Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe All's Well That Ends Well Runny Diarrhea.

Happy birthday, Merry christmas and I wish you all a good Fakinaway.

Songs, movies, crime

I've been listening to some new songs recently, mostly softer songs including: 'It's nice to be alive' by Ball Park Music, 'Tiny dancer' and 'your song' by Elton John, 'Wish you were here' by Pink Floyd and everything by the Foo Fighters 'cos they're freaking awesome.

Lots of new stuff on the other blog, go check it out for movie, TV, music etc. reviews.

The other day some random robbed a house at gunpoint a few houses away from me. Now my mum's gone all anal about security. Yesterday night I had my blinds open and she runs in screaming: "Do you want to die!? Leaving the blinds open is inviting murderers in!" Seriously I would not be scared of some crackhead running into my house, I'm Asian, I know kung fu.

Went to school the other day and on the way back some random Asians in a white van asked me if I wanted to buy a 3D TV or a sound system. Their story was that they had too many 'at the warehouse' and needed to get rid of a few. Most suspicious bullshit I have ever heard. I would not be too surprised if these were the guys who robbed the house.

I love how London is hosting the Olympics in 11 months, but half the city is in flames due to rioting, they are so screwed. News out a few days ago that prisoners are being transported to other cities due to overcrowding in the prisons. If the government had just given them a stimulus package this wouldn't have happened.

Recently started watching Hajime no Ippo which is a boxing based anime. Previously I believed it was overrated, but it is quite enjoyable despite the weird animation style and quality. Baka to Test also seems good, but yet to get very far into it.

"The soul of a Dakini...is stuck in the dirtiest place in this world!" -Hijikata & Gintoki

Exams, bludging, boobs

So the exam week has started and by the sounds of things everything has started off all right. Today was Maths and Ext 2 Maths which meant it was probably the most important day of the exam weeks. I reckon I did rather well considering my almost total lack of preparation, but I did manage to prove 2=0 and that a young boy runs faster than a bus. Some mistakes were obviously made.

Last night it was maths cramming, so to help myself get into 'the zone', I played some good ol' Team Fortress 2. I've finally learnt to play combat medic and got a 12 kill streak. Some of the people were just stunned when they saw me running at them and died due to the element of surprise. Unfortunately I later died to the element of fire, which unsurprisingly overpowers the element of surprise. I also got an 11 kill streak today as sniper using flick shots. Some of the flukiest headshots in gaming history were made.

Lastly I'd just like to say I was touching lots of boob this afternoon. So squishy.

Edit: Click this link for no reason. Thank you for your participation.

This blog belongs to Takeshi.

University, similes, haggling, pawn

Due to a bad case of can'tbefucked, I've put off doing a lot of things, including exams. Hopefully I'll 'recover' from my illness. Anyways, to get a sense of routine, I've decided to only blog on Wednesdays.

Today I went to UWS Parramatta campus to do some studying away from public libraries. I totally forgot uni students are having their break, so the place seemed like a ghost town. Compared to Macquarie (which I've been to for many excursions), UWS Parra is tiny as shit.

Which brings me to the English language. Due to the fact that it's constant, I don't think people are away just how messed up slang has become. I remember doing a maths paper and yelling "Why is this dick so hard!?", and everyone around me was like "TMI dude." But the major issue I have is with contemporary similes. E.g. An essay question was very difficult = That question was hard as shit. Now I don't know about most people, but isn't shit soft? Not like I go around pressing on shit, but it's being used totally incorrectly. Also is the word convenient totally inconvenient or what? The word easy is way more convenient.

So I was going to buy some food afterwards and realised I was 5 cents short of the price. At first I decided to haggle before realising this wasn't an Asian store. What's the most you've ever haggled from a non-Asian store? I got 10 cents off lunch from a white lady once, but that's because I rarely bother.

Is Lexi Belle hot or what?

Riddle: What has four lips, four cheeks and three holes?

Good luck for next week and remember, next time you are eating crabs, be careful of gorillas.

Being board

So the last week has been relatively empty seeing as exams are approaching, however I did find time to watch quite a few more films. In the future, any movie review related material will be found on this blog, which I am collaborating with a few other guys on. My first post was on Quentin Tarantino films which I have watched recently, which include: Inglourious Basterds, Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

I found this picture randomly. Cutest pooping picture ever? The mother is looking at the baby's ass like 'wtf is that shit?' LOL











Seeing as English is the first subject to be examined on, I think it fitting, that it's the one I'm least prepared for. With just over a week left, I still haven't begun my module C essay or my belonging creative. I do have a good ability to crap a story out in 40 minutes, but to do so in the trials may be a bit more difficult. Therefore I've decided to write another troll story, so give me any idea which you think is funny, and I'll try to chuck it in. So far it already has a hobo who lives under a bridge called Troll, and the plot revolves around incontinence. Cannot wait for the comments.

I've been wanting to watch a good horror movie recently, probably looking at The Exorcist, but if anyone knows a really good one, give me suggestions please.

What would you do with a trillion dollars? I ask myself that question all the time and try to come up with the best idea. I absolutely love Louis C.K.'s bit on having 85 billion dollars, where he suggests trolling a whole city by opening a chain of stores called 'Pet Ass Fuckers' and just spending all the money keeping the stores open 24/7 for 50 years. Genius. But I really like Oda's One Piece manga's plot, in which a large sum of money is hidden somewhere, and everyone is looking for it. I would build the biggest maze in the world, and guard it with like 10,000 security guards and lasers and wolves and traps and if you actually get to the end, there's just a mirror and you're meant to reflect at what you've achieved. I seriously cannot think of a non-troll thing I would spend a trillion dollars on.

Anyways, just a shorter post today, get back to studying peeps!

"Shoguns have traditionally worn tighty whities" -Shogun

Finding myself

So I've been spending the last week or so talking to specialists and crap, and talked to my dad who sounds really old. Made me feel a little emotion at the fact that I haven't seen him in so long that he sounds like an old man already. I spent a day at my relatives' place who I believe are like second aunt/uncle/cousin, but I'm not good with the whole bloodline thing. It was nice to see people who I haven't talked to in like a decade, plus my cousins are hot! I wonder if that's weird.
Does anyone see any resemblance in this picture? I didn't see it and don't really see it, but do you? (Hint: One of them is closely related to me, the others less so).







I was reading Prince of Tennis and saw this:

Lol.






So the other day I ate a pigeon and the typical Asians left the head on. It was the guiltiest meal I ever had as I ripped the pigeon apart while its lifeless eyes stared back at me. Bloody hell it tasted good though.

I've been watching Hokuto no Ken recently which is Fist of the Northern Star. The best line ever has got to be "you're 100 years too early to..." which is over used in every single fighting anime ever, but still awesome. Also just to show how over the top Hokuto no Ken is, one of the episode titles was "I will wipe away your tears with my fists". What. The. Fuck. What does that- I don't even.

Anyway, I've been meeting lots of new people recently and it's been weird knowing how it will turn out. Most of the people who've known me for a long time will probable agree to what I'm about to say. There are three major phases of knowing me. The first is when we're still kinda strangers and there's a level of awkwardness due to necessary niceties, and I'm sort of a normal person. Once that stage is over, you get to meet the asshole. I act like a total douche to everyone around me for the lols. Then there's a fork. Either run far and fast or stick around for some more. I guess most of the people reading this and I say most not all, sighed and said "fine, whatever, he's not that bad". So if you're new to me, be warned.

Something random I thought of the other day was my funeral song. You know the song that's played when you corpse is being lowered or some shit? Bohemian Rhapsody please. Just tell my mum to stfu and play that song or I will zombify myself and kick your asses.

Out of having too much time I made this. I guess the facts are random and don't mean that you 'know' me, but whatever, I might add some extras, suggest me.

Also for anyone doing the HSC (which is like everyone...) this is a good Bio/Chem website with notes made by a pro ex student. Some of you have already found the notes but just for the others here ya go.

I know this has been a big post, but I've had a lot to do and think about, and if you can be bothered reading, I'll do a big movie post on the weekend since I've seen so much crazy shiet this last week.

Good luck with studying, Trials, UMAT, IB or getting TF2 achievements (though I'm not sure you should be doing that last one).

"Did you find the beetle Toshi?"
"Err we did find it...but it suddenly transformed"
"Harikiri!" -Hijikata & Matsudaira

Epping, muckup, eating and Hornsby

So the last week and a bit have been so eventful I don't even remember what happened. I guess I'll start with the muck-up photo which was pretty good, but I felt a little stupid not dressing up as anything, since nothing like this will come again. But thumbs up to Pyro, the girls dressed as lollies, and the gaylords. Dang's such a man.

Anyway, I went to Epping with Marshmallow to bum around Morning Glory and saw some sweet ass stuff. Eventually she settled on a medium sized Totoro doll. Must find the smaller family members, so kawaii~. Afterwards we went for sushi at the Jap restaurant on the main street, and managed to get two balls down her throat. Takoyaki is pretty awesome. Also got my hands on some proper sushi, not some school canteen shit, holy crap the honeyed egg was awesome. Also first time eating pickled ginger. That's some weird shit right there.


But not as bad as some of the shit I ate later that week. During some lunch (forgot the day) we had the grade vs grade eating challenge. Our team consisted of Mouse, Big Allan, Andy and Gusta, but Gusta pulled out so I subbed in. Unfortunately I was overconfident and we ended up being beaten by the juniors due to my shit eating skills, sorry peeps. For those that are curious, I ate a preserved chili, a gherkin, a pack of spicy preserved Chinese veggies, about 12 slices of bread (may have cheated here, cough cough), a few handfuls of some disgusting green shit, an eighth of an onion, a few 100mL of Solo and a few random lollies, oh and about half a kilo of my own vomit. Mmm-mmm. Yummy. Later that day in Chemistry I lost a Batsu game and ate some soap. Oh the joy.

So onto some more serious/mindfuck stuff, on Saturday I got in another argument with my mum and went for a 'walk', that lasted about 23 hours. Spent most of the night bumming around parra, then caught a train to Hornsby, mainly because I'd never been there. On arrival I looked at the 'next train' sign and it said 3:53am. It was 12:50 at the time. Fuck. Spent the next 3 hours lying on random surfaces, witnessed masses of drunk teenagers stumbling home, saw a hobo seemingly die, then crawl away after an hour of sleeping on his face. All in all it was a terrifying experience yet enlightening in a way. After the train came, the rest is a blur 'til about 3 the next afternoon. Somehow I got from Hornsby to Carlingford despite the fact I'm sure I only caught 1 train. You know the saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away?" Well I lived off 4 apples and a piece of bread and ended up in hospital for 2 days. Myth busted. I do remember at some point I believed I was a character in someone else's dream, and that when they awoke, I would die. Afterwards I realised I wasn't in a dream and was all like "Holy shit! Mindfuck! I totally exist!" Scary but maybe a life lesson. Saves me buying LSD. So yeah, I got 'arrested', sent to hospital in an ambulance *Weeeee* and spent a few days in a psychiatric ward and chatted a lot with random people about life and shit. I found it funny I had my shoes confiscated, in case I strangled my self with the laces. But the best moment was when I was having a shower, and this sign next to the plastic chair said: "Caution patients! A previous patient had his genitalia stuck in the drainage slats. Please be aware". ROFL At the end of it all, I'm not really sure I learnt all that much, I met a lot of depressed people, and some really cool people e.g. a female janitor at Hornsby station, who stays up every night wiping up teenage vomit on the platforms, yet still enjoying her job and life or Martin the nurse, who went through depression at a young age, but found something to live for i.e. nursing. I guess it's just important to find something to enjoy, or aim for a goal, which unfortunately I don't have right now.

Random question: my mum tracked down my dad who is still alive, should I make an effort to communicate? Personally I feel uncomfortable letting someone in on my life, who's never cared about me, but still, this might be a last chance. Advice me please.

Joke: What did the hungry hen say to his friend? "I'm feeling a little peckish".

So most of us have gotten some exam results back myself included. Motherfucked. Yeah, my mum raped my ass in a figurative sense, but english and economics can turn it around, fingers crossed.

Onto funnier events, I was walking home today and felt like I wanted to beat The Russian at attacking lifeless objects. So I put my hands in my pockets, and fell face forth, thus skidding down them on my face. Stairs 1 Me 0.

You know when you graze yourself and the skin turns white temporarily, before all the blood suddenly comes out? I love that moment. I also can't eat properly now, because moving my jaw up and down reopens the scratches for some retarded reason. Karma? Not that bitch again.


Anyways, I'd like rage like a rage-amuffin at Steam for making Team Fortress 2 free. It was one of the rare, simple, mmo's that wasn't filled with downers. I'm sure that it is now going to be flooded with vaginafaces who just play sniper and shoot arrows all over the place. Fooarck.

Riddle: There are two sisters standing in front of a forked path. One tells the truth, the other lies. One path leads to danger, the other safety. Who do you ask, and what is your question?

Lastly I'm just a little annoyed in my lack of planning for muck-up photos. I left it to the night before, as is my method for everything, and now am plain out of ideas. Maybe I'll be 'guy who attacked stairs with face'. Or go naked. It's a coin flip.

Enjoy life everybody, try the Ebi bun at Breadtop, it's awesome and don't forget who's yo' daddy.

"Must f-f-find a D-d-doraemon!" -Sakata Gintoki

New computer

So this post is nothing more than to show off my new comp. I got it yesterday, but was too tired last night to set it up. For those that don't know, my retarded relatives screwed up their computer, so needed a new one, while mine works fine. However when I opened up the tower this morning (just to see the inside) I think I jizzed in my pants. So while my mum went shopping and my sister went to work, I swapped it with my computer. Genius. Did someone ask specs? AMD Phenom II Quad core, 8GB RAM, 1TB Hard drive, 2GB Graphics card and finally got a Blu-ray drive. I believe I landed myself a sweet ass ride. Since I thought why not, I also made my mum buy a new monitor that has built in speakers for the lols.

And now I will definitely get started on Ancient. I promise. Oh wait it's due Tuesday. Hmmm...

Movies, Comedians, Tutoring and DoTA

If you know the last quote I posted then you'll know I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. At first I thought it was a bit overrated but ended up being one of the most enjoyable movies I've watched in recent years. The plot revolves around a boy half way through year 12 (coincidence?) who comes up with an extremely elaborate plot to skip a day of school. He ends up having the most amazing day ever, while escaping his parents', sister's and principal's attempts to catch him. Fantastic movie that is super relatable, despite being 25 years old. I give it 9/10.

Another movie I just watched is My Neighbour Totoro. Expecting a lame child's movie I was surprised by the magic that Miyazaki brings to a simple story with absolutely no plot. Although compared to Walt Disney and Miyazaki's later films, it lacks in both plot and character, but is still worth a watch, even if just for the overly cute Mei. (Looks like you Marshmallow). 8/10

I've been watching some stand-up comedy on Youtube again and have rewatched some of my favourites. Tim Vine is a brilliant one-liner comedian who has the toppest jokes. Dead Cat Bounce is a comedy band with a few songs, but are well worth a listen. I especially liked this one. Tim Minchin is an absolutely genius comedy musician who has some seriously deep and crazy songs but is good for a laugh. Finally my all time favourite comedian has to be Louis C.K. who talks about everyday life while not sounding boring. He also does some TV shows with this clip being one of the best (WARNING: extremely sacreligious not for Catholics).

I've wormed my way out of avoiding chemistry, maths and English tutoring for this weekend, but I still had to give lessons to my primary students. Normally the year six kid is pretty fine 'cos we can have intellectual conversations, but the year two kid can be a bit of a pain. However today he brought an assignment from school which required cutting and pasting. The best hour of fun I've had this year. It really takes me back to when life was just so simple and innocent. Except for a certain negro we all know. (Hint: the guy who got sent to remedial 'cutting' classes).

So since it's been exam week and all I started watching movies and DoTAing like a fucktard. So far I have been raped in every single game I've played. So can anyone who sucks shit please verse me to give me some confidence.

Punchline: Lemon-nades.

Riddle: How many slow pokes can a Slowpoke poke if a slow poke could poke slow?

Convo I had with a guy at Harvey Norman today:

Him: (With a big smile) Sooo it's veerrryyy good if you bought this protection. Full security for 3 years at just $30 a year? Can you get it any cheaper? (In regards to our new computer)
Me: Yes. I can get it for free.
Him: (Fully serious) We will not be responsible for any damage that occurs to your system while using pirated software. If anything goes wrong, it will not be covered at all.

I almost laughed out loud at his face, he looked so pissed.

"I hung a giant ass noose off my giant ass dick" -Shy Ronnie

Exams, DoTA, Facebook

So today was the biggest 'OMFG I'm suiciding' exam ever, but at least it's over and done with.

Since the exams were on and all I decided to start playing DoTA on Boredaussies again because that's the natural studying routine. Although it was somewhat expected, the level of rape I received was quite dispiriting. Last night I got destroyed by Gaymond's little brother who's like 14 or something. But then I felt so good when I owned some guy and he rage quitted. So fulfilling =). Anyways, add tadfg if anyone actually plays.

The other day I 'ran' into an old friend on Facebook. Haven't spoken in 8 years and suddenly I'm like "Holy shit! It's 2011? I'm gonna be an adult in 6 months? Fuckdatshit, I want my youth back!". Anyways, it's nice to catch up with people who you haven't spoken to in ages. Sort of nostalgic and warming. Also on Facebook, I realised my sister has 330 more friends than me. Super-depressing. I don't even know 330 people!

So if you haven't already figured it out, the answer to my riddle is: 'The love game". And the punchline if I didn't already tell you is "melted cheese sandwiches". I hope none of you get the joke, because that shows you have some innocence. Somehow I didn't get it until 'twas explained to me. Then I felt sick.

Joke: What explosive is sour? (Please don't give me some shit about acids, I've had enough chemistry.)

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Exams, TF2, Grossing out and a New Segment!

So during the last week it's been pretty crazy so I've learnt to find relaxation techniques. This is one of them. One of the most relaxing yet addictive simple flash games I've played in a while. I've also rearranged my room and computer equipment so that I can work in bed. Unfortunately this has led to a lot more procrastination than I'd hoped. Meh.

I recently found a video I was involved in earlier this year. This is just some random crap the PANTS group on Team Fortress 2 decided to mess around with. I was fortunate enough to be involved in "build so much stuff the server crashes" and "fireworks on halloween". We also filmed a Rocky film reproduction but it got taken down. Even more unfortunately, the PANTS group blew up because of real life issues. :'(

So recently my wisdom teeth have been growing out and it wasn't too bad at first. But one of the top teeth pushed off part of my gum, and now there's a piece of gum dangling at the back of my jaw. If that didn't gross you out, then maybe this will. WARNING: Dudes shouldn't watch it. Or chicks for that matter.

New Segment Time!

I've been reading some blogs recently and some people have recurring segments, so I thought I might start one. Since I spend heaps of time reading crap that is clearly a waste of memory, I'm going to put some of it to use.

Riddle: What game requires only one bat but two balls?
Clue: Two balls are normal but not necessary.

(Yes I know it's an easy one, but I'm tired right now so I can't be bothered coming up with something better.)

Joke: Why don't you give an old woman cunnilingus?

I'll post answer and punchline next time. I'm still making my mind up about 'prizes'.

So good luck with exams everyone and try not to commit suicide. If the pressure gets too big, then:

"Turn the Kabuki district into a bright red flower garden!" - Man Birabirabirabirabirabirako

Exams and trolls

It's Wednesday, Wednesday, gotta do work on Wednesday! Studying, studying yeah!

'Kay I'm gonna stop trolling now. Exams are coming up for the fourth time since I started blogging. I feel both old and tired. But soon it's all going to be over, just 135 days til our first HSC exam. My timetable is relatively well spaced and the timing is mostly pretty good except for 1:55pm Economics exam. It doesn't end til 5 pm. How the fuck am I going to stay awake that long? Should have done phys, biggest regret ever.

Onto more pressing matters, everyone around school's been asking me the same question and bugging me about it. I would like to make a public announcement that I am not going out with anyone right now nor in the near future. So can people please stop trolling me with stupid comments and calling me a pussy *glares at camera girl*.

I found an awesome movie. I'm not surprised the first was so good that they needed a sequel. Have got to watch that some day.

Anyways, good luck on the oncoming exams, if you are reading this, don't forget eco and chem are due tomorrow.

I'd just like to finish with a classic that always make my day brighter. Next time you run out of toilet paper just remember this quote.

"Do you know why god gave us two hands?" - Sakata Gintoki

Spelling, hot pot and classical musicians

So the other day I looked at the shopping list and saw 'cock'. I asked my mum what she intended to write, and she couldn't remember, but apparently she was half way through a word and went to do something else. Later she remembered it was Coke. Top asian-ness.

We had hot pot on the weekend and for once I actually did the preparation. It's actually quite fun to cook with lots of random alien items. My mum has a special recipe for the dipping sauce which includes: 1 part bean curd, 1 part sesame paste and 1 part garlic shoot paste. However it looked like 3 part turd. Don't you just hate it when you can't get the garlic out of the jar? Or when you're so bored you just chew the garlic? No they're not euphemisms. My mum bought sweetened garlic which marinates in a jar. However it soaks up a lot of the honeyed water, thus expanding wider than the hole it went into. I spent 10 minutes shoving a knife in to the jar to chop up the garlic and remove it piecemeal. Who needs knife round when you have a jar of garlic.

Most of you should know the classical musician in our grade. The other day I saw him staring at the sky looking for an answer. He reminded me of Ayu from Kanon (2006), searching for something but not sure what exactly he was looking for. Maybe he was searching for a dream, a friend, hope or maybe he's just a tard.

Lastly I'm just gonna rant about that little junior who I'll nickname 'The Little D'. For music room people, you know the guy I'm talking about. Today I saw him standing in the quad singing. I deserve a medal for self constraint from smashing his face in.

"Caaaardboooaaarduuu loolululoooo" - Madao.

Long time no see

I apologise to my masses of fans for not blogging for a while. Been lazy and busy. More lazy.

So during the holidays I went to the gym with Pop and owned myself pretty hard. I took a couple pics of my shoulders afterwards.















I have no idea what the hell happened, thankfully its gone away.

So the other day I went for a jog and felt a leaf land on my hair. When I went up to knock it off my hand felt wetness. Checking my fingers I saw yellow liquid. I ran home and went to wash out my hair, and spent the next ten minutes scraping bird shit from my scalp. I could feel the lumps that had solidified and almost puked through my eyes.

Anyways, have you ever walked down the cleaning products aisle and seen a product called 'Omo'. The other day I had the urge to add an H to the front of every box. A similar idea popped in my head when I saw a truck with ANA written on the side.

Lastly, here's the long awaited short story I wrote for Extension English. At one point I was so bored I decided to see if I could get the phrase 'ass dick' into my story. Here's my attempt.

Edit: Due to retardation by Blogger, the pages are ordered 1,3,2,4.

Anime and rock music

For those who don't know, there is a classic series called Cowboy Bebop which has been one of the highest rated animated series ever. Shown in the year 1998, it lasted 26 episodes and spawned a film and one special. However it did not exactly end there. The plot: a wild, rash, powerful guy and his calmer and more thoughtful friend travel together. Along the way they meet a young girl, and the series continues with the girl repeatedly getting kidnapped and requiring the guys to save her. The series is relatively episodic with a big resolution at the end. There is also a very funny episode involving shrooms. If this sounds familiar it's because that is also the plot of Samurai Champloo. The unoriginal creator pretty much remade the whole series in a different setting with new art design. What a noob.

While watching Kanon (2006) the other day, one particular character who was a plain bitch suddenly turned nice and cute. I was confused by the sudden deep personality change. So to the MAL forums I went. I swear, every second comment said: she is so gonna die. Why must Key do this? Does being a likeable character result in instant death? I'm now too unmotivated to watch a show bound to end in everyone dying. Warn me of any such shows in the future.

I found this pretty good quiz involving rock music knowledge. I was surprised by the amount of metal/heavy rock involved. But I only got 11. What a fail.

Horror driving and facebook

So yesterday I went to the gym with Pop and drove into a wall trying to park my car. Then at night on the way back from tutoring, I fell asleep at a red light. I heard a beep and instinctively accelerated almost totalling my car. Lol.

While being really bored I bummed around on Facebook and found this. That. Is. Epic.

Anyways, back to DoTA training, must take down 'him'.

Holiday at Nelson Bay

So overall my holiday was ridiculously boring since I've been there and done that. By that I mean I went to Nelson Bay in 2008 and pretty much did everything in the surrounding 10 km. So I ended up doing growth and decay, watched 10 hours of TV a day and chillaxed. Saw a lot of weird people who looked shall we say 'siblings and cousins at the same time'. Also the food was ridiculously expensive, but considering the low number of customers, that's not surprising.

Here is a general bill of my food costs:

Sexy ass Gourmet burger - 15.50
Ice tea - 3.50
Hawaiian Pizza - 20.00
Dodgy ass burger meal - 9.90
Pad thai - 15.30
Spaghetti and meatballs - 18.00
Milk, bread, etc. ~15.00

Apart from the pizza and breakfast materials, I pretty much soloed 70 bucks of food in 2 and a half days. Now that I earn my own cash, I suddenly realised how much of a rip it is to eat. So eat as much you can while your parents are shouting, save some stuff for the winter if you must.

Here's a short video that I filmed half awake at 7 am.

And here are some random pics.
Forget double rainbow, CARPET RAINBOW!!!!













OMG a shower with one tap! That's right! Just sin 90 number of taps!!!












My sister's racist cheese.













Anyways, that's about it for my beach side holiday post. Be ready for my 'omg chem was so shit' post.

Holidays and Netcafes

So for the next four days I'll be studying by the beach. Hopefully I'll actually get some work done. I'll also be trying to drive for two and half hours without crashing, so wish me luck.

The other day Scene tried to coin the word "Downdar" which is similar to a Gaydar but for Downs syndrome. I won't be surprised if that catches on.

Hopefully I'll be seeing lots of people at RvB, and not too many 'tards, but first we got a chemistry excursion. Yayz.

Happy holidays everyone, may these not be my last words. Although if I do crash tomorrow, here are my last words: How do you get Charizards onto a bus? You poke 'em on.

Copying blogs

Taking a page out of another blogger's book, I recently watched some really good movies. Se7en and Kill Bill Volume 1 are two great movies. Seven is a crime thriller involving the seven deadly sins with some really ingenious methods of killing. While Kill Bill is a hot and awesome action film about hot chicks cutting the limbs off of henchmen.

For those who like a short racing game: Formula Racer is a nice easy and relatively fun game.

Onto more random stuff, you know when you say that long string of niceties and farewells, but turns out you aren't leaving yet? This happened the other day when I said a long line of goodbyes, and found out that I was walking in the same direction. That was the most awkward 50m I've ever walked.

Finally, Gintama's heralded return has been relatively successful. With a MAL rating of 9.48 after just one episode, it looks to challenge some of the highest rated series in history. Can't wait to see the development. Wonder if we'll see SSJ Gintoki?

More Asian invasion, ties, don't laugh, decent musicians

Interesting fact: The top 3 most common last names in Canada are Lee, Smith and Lam. Asian invasion?

While looking through my clothes the other day, I found my tie lying on the ground. This then led to the thought that it was by far the dirtiest item of clothing I had (since I don't wash my tie every few days (well, never really)). Then I thought about the purpose behind such an item. We clearly don't need it to hold up our shirts, or keep collars tight. So why do we wear one? Post some ideas. But don't give me shit about being 'proper' and neat. That's Alvin-talk.

A great annual event has ended, Gaki no Tsukai's No-laughing Spy was completely subbed last week. A big, expensive and explosive final, but being 18:30 hours long was a bit of a let down. I'll try not to spoil any more for those who plan to watch it.

It's unfortunate that so many shitty artists are being signed by big labels. There are obviously countless musicians/bands that are awesome, but I'll just talk about one today. Jimmy not only has an awesome username, but is an actual decent musician. Ching Chong!, Mario Bros. a capella, and Chinese food are a few good ones to listen to.

Anyway, I have no idea what to do with my belonging visual representation. I've just got so many questions.

I know it's meant to be on cardboard, but how big? Is A4 enough? Do I have enough content? Is it clear? Is it too simple? Is English gay? Bit late to do anything now, but any comments would be cool.


EDIT: Note: the Ruse symbol represents the belonging during high school, the bowl and chopsticks is like 'de Azn wai', the family is obviously family, the uni emblem on the earth shows the other world of tertiary education and the flipped Ruse symbol means the other side of this school: being a teacher.

Anime and exams

If you haven't already seen this, it is the worst anime ever. I'm not gonna exaggerate how much I laughed or facepalmed during those 15 odd minutes. It's just: bad.

And it should be no surprise that I am pissed about exams. I don't remember the days when I finished exam week happy with how I did. Must be back in the days of BODMAS and spelling bees. Anyway, I am fucked for extension 1 English but I hope I give everyone a good laugh when/if I get my paper back. I'll try to post it up here for the lols.

I watched some British comedy/stand-up and found more respect for them (most of my respect is for Sickipedia and beating the French). One of Jimmy Carr's jokes go: "Who said there's safety in numbers? Tell that to six million Jews". As Kelso from 'That 70's Show' would say: Burn! On second thought, that's the wrong thing to say about that joke.

Nothing

So nothing has happened for a week. Just studying and being pissed at everything. So hopefully this might brighten up everyone's tiring week.

I also read an awesome quote. It's about some blind kid: "A man once said to Jack: "you can't play the piano, you're blind!" Jack just replied, "I don't see your point." " SNAP.

Anyways, good luck everyone for next week's exams and the two days after that. High five if you finish on Thursday! =D

P.S. Lol at Fifi.

Drumming, suburbia, subtitles and studying

I was bumming around on YT and found this awesome drum cover of Chop Suey. Watch the guy's face as he plays, happiest drummer ever.

So I was driving home from my tutor's place in Guildford, and I watched as suburbia ran by my window. The utes parked in the front yards, the sheep grazing on the side of the road, the children riding their bikes- whatthefuck sheep? There was a sheep walking down the side of the road, eating the grass that was growing near the footpath. Just a random, wild sheep.

Talking about random crap, yesterday I went jogging and as I bypassed a car, I saw a wet-looking condom lying on its bonnet. Pwnt.

For the fans out there, there is an update on the subtitling work on the Gintama movie. Four months after the DVD's release, Rumbel subs have postponed subtitle work to translate IS:Infinite Stratos. For those who don't know, IS is an anime about shit. Not literally of course. It's actually a mecha, shounen, harem. A.k.a. shit. I'm gonna put on my rageface and my ragepants and rage like a bitch. In the kitchen! Jokes.

Lastly I'd like to make an announcement on studying, which is funny. A certain black person in our grade (I'll avoid using names so let's call him Mr. Potter) injured his wrist writing an essay. That is the most embarrassing way of injury. If I did that, I'd say I was masturbating, 'cos that is way manlier than 'self-injury from over studying'. Lucky he's Asian, if he was white he'd get slapped to death.

Psychiatrist and funny names

So today I went to some dumbass psychiatrist to get tested for ADD or any other retardations. Firstly, he was 20 minutes late, and seemed almost senile. At one point he was trying to say something but forgot what he was saying, and ended up saying "errrrr.....eh..errrr....ehhhhh.....er..er...errrrr" I barely controlled myself from laughing. Anyways, in the end he believes I'm failing at school because of depression. Seriously, where do these people get their degrees?

So after two years of searching, I finally found my USB cable for my phone. Turns out it was in the box the whole time. But now I can finally post that picture I took on holidays.

This is an actual plaque on a bench near the coast. I shit you not.














Then today at the doctor's building I was reading the list of doctors looking for a funny name. It is very fortunate I am engaged in such activities on a regular basis, otherwise I wouldn't have found this name. It was hard to take a picture, since the board was next to the lift, and there was a whole group of people standing there, but just look for an obstetrician/gynaecologist. (Clue: it's the name in lower case.)
















I know it's slack, but it's just too funny.

Studyingzorz and Youtube

This week has been pretty hardcore studying. I was meant to go get tested today but turns out my mum is retarded and doesn't know how calendars work. For long term readers, I'm getting tested because of what my tutor said. Yes, my mum took him seriously and thinks I'm retarded.

In funnier news, to celebrate Women's day or week or whatever it is, Julia Gillard posted a Youtube video (well she didn't do it personally) and it's getting trolled so bad. Gillard got so many thumbs down I couldn't help but thumbs down her without watching the video. I absolutely love how when you give a thumbs down, Youtube thanks you for your feedback. So lets unite as a nation. A trolling nation.

I was browsing Youtube and watched some Paul Gilbert guitar videos. Paul Gilbert is a very talented guitarist, but looks like a total retard in this video. And seriously, why is his pinky so long? Is he still undeveloped as a human being? Does that mean apes would be skilled at playing guitar? Regardless, he looks fucking hilarious.

Lastly I'd like to publicly laugh at a certain n00b who thought exams are on next week. Lol.

Studying and boring weekends

While looking up random guitar/music videos I found a video involving Prince playing guitar. After 4 minutes or so I thought I'd missed it, but it ended up being some sweet music. Prince playing guitar just surprised me a bit. Thought he was a little purple gay guy who sang a bit.

I noticed there's a link at the top of Blogger's website called "Next blog". I clicked it and it took me to some random family's blog. Being bored I just kept clicking and browsing random blogs.
I was shocked by how many blogs are just family photos and crap. They are really well designed with a cool background but it looks as boring as Jane Austen. I was so surprised at how rarely I came across a blog of just an individual talking about their like and dislikes. There were probably more blogs about self run businesses, than blogs about individuals crapping on about their lives. Gives a new perspective to the word 'blog'.

Yesterday I had a horrid shopping trip, which would probably have been funny had you been watching in third person. Firstly, we waited 20 minutes for a spot and when we got out of the car, I realised my mum parked in a giant puddle. Once I breathed, I then learnt it was sewerage. Ignoring that I went and bought some stuff and also had lunch. Because the food court had no free tables (there were seats but who sits across from a stranger?) I went back to eat in the car. Unfortunately I'd forgotten about that pile of sewerage. The smell didn't really bother me once I was inside the car with the windows wound up, but then I did that thing with burgers, where you bite from one end, and everything gets squeezed out the other.
So a bundle of lettuce covered in sauce rolled down my shirt onto my lap. I had a red shirt so the tomato sauce didn't really show, but my white pants implied I just had a period or pissed blood. Seriously annoying.

Some say Sunday begins a week and others say it ends one. For a student I think Sunday ends the week. Because Monday is the first day you are reminded you go to a prison called 'school'. However with tutoring and mass studying on weekends, it feels like I'm in a month long week. When people say "time flies when you're having fun", they've got a point. Seems like suddenly time became a spoilt little shit who sits down in the middle of the road and won't move unless I kick him in the face. Oh well only 218 days til school ends!

I just found this awesome picture. Who else picked the right girl top row?

Tutoring, studying and Big Balls

So the other day I got my first call to tutor some little kids. I felt awkward talking myself up as some James Ruse pro-student. But it's primary school kids so hopefully I wont' fuck it up. But the worst part is the parent. The kids' mum called me up and I started the conversation with: "Hello! Hi! Thanks for call- Hey- thank- hi erm yes... hi." She must have been like 'Does this kid have Sean's disease?'

The other day someone summed Letters to Alice up in a few brief words: "It's like talking to a bitch". Roffle.

As I was making Ancient History notes I typed in the word 'Dorians' meaning a group of people from Doric tribes. When I went to spell check it asked if I meant 'durians'. MS Word is so Asian.

I was really bored after studying today and I also ran out of things to do on the whole interwebs. I know, the entire interwebs. So I looked up funny mabobs and found this Best Nut Shot Compilation Ever! If you have balls, you will cringe. At least they won't be reproducing anymore. Thank god.

So it's been a relatively eventful week, but all thoughts should be on the oncoming exams. I never knew how gay studying was. Now I know how a certain Mr. Lee must feel all the time.

Gulags, kidneys and ragezorz

So the other day my mum made me go swimming in that gulag she calls a pool. I swear I could see the dust floating in the water. I also think my body temperature dropped below 32 after about 10minutes. I'm surprised I wasn't comatose.

Recently I looked in the mirror and saw some dodgy ass shit. The first picture is clearer but it's still visible on the second picture. Someone has stolen my kidneys and/or other organs in my sleep. Either that or people naturally form scars on their hips during adolescence. (Yes I know, I'm a fatass).












Today my tutor asked me why I was doing so bad at my homework again. I told him about my daily schedule and when he heard me say I spent 2 hours on the computer he went nuts again. The conversation went something like this:

Me: So I spend about two hours on the computer every day, sometimes more
Him: Whaaat! Do you even do homework? How do you manage to keep up at school?
Me: Errr, I finish pretty much everything from school plus tutoring
Him: Well if you find 1 minute of free time a day then you're not doing enough work. If you have free time, use it to do more homework. Free time is the root of failure.

ZETSUBOUSHITAAAAA!!!!!

Also 2 more post til my 50th =D. Thanks for all the long time support and a massive 3 followers. I'd like to give a shout out to all my friends and on special request from an anonymous follower: Fifi is really awesome and cool and like, yeah....

P.S. I'm fiddling around with some videos I've been trying to make with little success. Look forward to possible 'vlogging' in the future.

Failures and nostalgia

So on the weekend my maths tutor suggested I get tested for retardation because of how slow I was doing a superannuation question. What an ass.

One of the funniest news fails finally happened on Australian television. Fortunately for them no one was watching the news at 6 in the morning, however that doesn't mean it didn't get on the internet. Channel Nine News decided to be funny and make penis jokes. Thank god for the internet.

About two nights ago I was attacked by a blanket monster with a pole. Turns out it was my curtain falling on me. But while half asleep at 2am, I seriously thought I was getting attacked, and wondered why my blanket was attached to a pole.

To add to my sleeping troubles, yesterday afternoon I was taking a nap when I was awoken by horrible calf muscles. I somehow pulled a muscle sleeping and can't straighten out my leg anymore. Failure of the month nominee.

So I was browsing Facebook and I somehow found my sister's page. Considering I started with people in our grade it shows how far Facebook has snuck into our lives. Upon further explorations, I found heaps of people I haven't spoken to since year 4 or 6 (years in which I left schools). It was weird looking at profiles of people I used to consider really good friends, but now think are just some random strangers who I once met.

Anyway, enough of nostalgia, here's a guitar music video with a girl having fake orgasms with a guitar. NSFW. Not really safe anywhere actually, listen/watch in your own privacy. Music Video

Materialism and disappointments

On the way home today I saw a big sign on the back of a bus that said something along the lines of prepaid funerals. I can't believe someone was dumb enough to start a business like that. Nor could anyone be dumb enough to actually purchase their own funeral. I hope.

So last night I finally got around to watching the Black Swan. It was severely boring and really was a boring ballet film which I originally thought it would be. The horror was 3rd class and the sex scenes were severely disturbed. The movie also ended awfully with a totally impossible resolution (a girl gets stabbed, temporarily stops bleeding so she can dance for half an hour, then starts bleeding again after the dance, while during the whole dance no one notices a patch of blood on her dress). Also because I got bored, I accidentally fast-forwarded past the 'bating scene. Damn.

Although I am unclear as of the details, I heard about the dressing down the girls received to get dressed up. The word "prostitutes" was thrown around a bit. Somehow a teacher has managed to say something intending to help one gender, but pissing off both. Well done.

To conclude a crappy week, I must now go explain to my mum 'The reasons why I don't want remedial English classes in the morning with Mason'.

Term 1

So not much has happened in the first two weeks of year 12. My level of maturity sure hasn't changed. But the year that lies ahead is somewhat dark and dangerous, and with just 237 days of school til term 4 begins, suddenly there doesn't seem all that much time left. I remember each and every assessment, when I would proclaim "Next time, I'll definitely start trying!", however that time is yet to come. Hopefully my expected exponential curve of workload will come to fruition.

Somehow I've managed to keep on task in most subjects; about to break a record for English: read 3 prescribed texts in 2 months. My previous record was about 3 terms so that's definitely a huge improvement. I also know what the fuck chem is about.

As with the academic side of life, so is the sporting. Being good at neither I've decided that this year I'm starting to get fit. Hopefully I can find a good Jim, but I doubt I'm gonna hire a personal trainer, so I'll probably use a gym.

Aaaaanyways, it's been an okay fortnight, Ragu speaks Yiddish (typical Jew), my sister's been acting like a dumbass, Alvin's gay and Gaki no Tsukai are being subbed (go spies!). Just a usual everyday fortnight.


P.S. There's a guy who works at Carlo Court who looks like a mix between these two popular Gintama characters. He had the comb over and glasses of the first guy, but imagine a comb over with the hair from the the 40 billion percent enhanced image. All his hair was different lengthed and just by looking at his face I started laughing.

Holidays ends, super summer

So at the end of the holidays, I got ridiculously bored from being capped and having my computer time limited, so I ended up watching midday television. Despite how boring it normally is, the film "From here to Eternity" was on. Of course at first I was like "Could it get any worse?", but it turned out to be a decent film, despite being a war romance from 1953. The only other thing on was the tennis. Most of the matches I ended up watching were doubles or women's matches. And it made me realise, there are about 3 hot chicks in tennis. Why the hell are they all so manly looking? Check up images of Schiavone. Brix will be shat.

So I'm looking forward to tonight, because it's dropped a whole degree in the last 2 hours, down to a cool 37 degrees in my room. I am now able to add a new list of activities which I consider 'exercise'. These include: mouse clicking, blinking, breathing, standing up, sitting down and bowel movements. It is so hot in my room, when I turned on my computer, the fan instantly went to max to compensate for the overheating. O! If only we'd invented green shopping bags sooner. At least the oncoming ice age should take care of it.

Summer and vulgarity

The last couple of days its been around 33 degrees, fortunately, it was a chilly 30 last night. I swear whichever cheapass designed my house built it during winter. I went out for a jog yesterday, and you know it's hot when you're dripping sweat while stretching.

So there's this new pornographic film out which is being sued cos it got filmed in a food van and there are other issues, blah blah blah. So the film starts with a guy asking the chick selling food: "You got anything vegetarian?" and she replies: "No, but I got something vagitarian." O the sophistication.

I was watching QI last night and Stephen Fry went nuts with sexual innuendos. He told a story of how he met the Duke of Westminster, and when someone asked him if they became friends, he replied: "No, I never got a chance to penetrate his intimate circle". Apparently there's a pub which has a sign that says "Liqour at the front, poker in the back". Say that fast and you'll get it.

Something which is quite scary is the fact that the age of consent in the Vatican City is only 12 years old. This means that if a 12 year old consents, the pope can fuck 'im. Why am I not surprised.

Films, TV, Books and public nudity

There's this new movie coming out called The Black Swan. At first glance it seems like a boring ballet film. But reading a review I found out it's actually a horror film delving into psychological issues. More importantly there's a lesbian sex scene. Suddenly sounds like a not-so-boring ballet film.

For those that have televisions, you should have noticed an annual sporting event known as the Australian Open. I was watching a regular women's match that had nothing going on until a commentator said: "She's penetrating her opponent with her balls." Thank god for commentary.

Some may have read the book "General Ignorance", and for those who haven't it's a definite must read. It contains a multitude of facts regarding everyday knowledge we take for granted. And then proves them wrong. Fortunately the authors have come up with a second book which I am enjoying verily much so. Some interesting facts I've learned in the first 50 pages include: oranges aren't orange, Darwin never studied finches, snakes have 2 penises, octopuses lose their penises during sex, octopuses is a better word than octopi scientifically, there is a species of gorilla with a scientific name of gorilla gorilla gorilla, water doesn't freeze at zero degrees celsius and fish don't exist. For explanations of these arguments go borrow "The second book of general ignorance" by John Lloyd and John Mitchinson.

Due to an extreme case of laziness, I walked out of the pool today with a towel around my waist instead of pants. Due to an extreme case of retardation, I took off my towel without realising I was in public. At least it ticks off one of my life goals: "Hang out with my wang out".

Anime and old people

I regularly browse Sporcle for fun games and and ran into some anime related ones. 101 Anime Openings I have posted before, which I scored 37. However it's been six months since I last played that one and my score has improved to 69. No need to play that one again. Name the Anime is a long one, it was tl;dr so I only got 51, but still a good test of knowledge.

My grandma got some mail and wanted me to check whether it was sent to her or not. It annoys me deeply that she's been in and out of the country for 15 years and doesn't know how to read her own name in English. I mean, 15 years ago I couldn't differ between red and orange, but now I'm doing skilled activities such as playing Rainbow Ninja. Sometimes peoples' laziness to learn new stuff is just unbelievable.

So I finally caught up to One Piece and it made me realise just how slow manga is. At about chapter 570, I realised I was still about a year off from the newest chapter. I read the last 40 odd chapters in a day and a half, yet it took about 9 months to draw it. Gotta give some respect to mangakas and translators too.

On that note, I gotta give creds to the translators of the No Laughing Spy game. Almost complete, absolutely cannot wait. Gooooo Chono!

Swimming pools, garages, primary school

So I've gone swimming recently and I've wondered, if you work hard enough, do you/can you sweat while swimming? I can't really tell since I'm wet and not feeling hot. From what I know you need to feel hot for your body to release sweat, not sure if that's correct. Just a ponderism.

Today my mum made me clean out our garage which has about 20 years of crap in there. Among it I found: novels from the 70's and 80's, 1990 SD and IT textbooks (Lolled at tower-sized hard drives), heaps of empty cardboard boxes (Some contained about 5 kgs of air, absolutely amazing), a copy of almost everything we have in the kitchen (Who the fuck buys a spare toaster?), and a book on "How to knit clothes". After lugging huge boxes around for a while, there were some black lumps I saw everywhere, including a few pieces stuck on my shirt. 'What kinda shit is this?' I wondered. The answer was rat. It caused me to elicit this kind of response.




















I recently discovered that a game I played in primary which had been shut down for a while is back up. FlashFlashRevolution is a game like DDR but with arrow keys. Extremely addictive if you find a fun song to play. Includes some classics like The Entertainer, Flight of the Bumblebee (Hard as anal rape), The Tetris Game song etc. but mostly technoey crap. Still, it's good to bring back some memories.

Which brings me to Pooya. For those that don't know, Pooya (real name Poya), was an Iranian dumbass in my old school, who believed he's Persian. Among his quirks include an imaginary religion which disallows him from watching the Simpsons. Might I add that he's retarded? I remember he used to eat by ripping his food to shreds, and shovelling it into his mouth like a fucktard. He was my first friend, but after getting beat up for 6 months for befriending him, I was like Fuck Off. One time I got a brick chucked at me, so don't go judging me so soon. There were countless stories which people from Ermo would laugh at so much. Go up to Ragu and say "Who was Pointy567?" and he's guaranteed to ROFL. My favourite prank on Pooya was locking him inside the toilets and pretending we were going to die in there. Oh how he cried. But the best story about him was the rumour he had to drop out of high school due to penile gangrene. PFffft!!! HAHAHAAHA

Floods and old friends

In case any one reading this lives under a rock in a cave, recently in Queensland there have been some horrible floods. Why do I say it's horrible? Cos now nothing is on TV. Seriously, about 12 hours a day on at least 4 channels played crap about how bad the situation is. Ye we get it! Shit happened. There is a channel called ABC News especially for news. USE IT. And seriously, it wasn't even devastating in terms of K/D ratio. Most natural disasters take thousands or tens of thousands of lives. This didn't even take tens. For all those who think I'm being horrible, I already bought a first class ticket to hell by laughing at Sickipedia, and now I'm booking an express flight.

This afternoon I want for a walk 'for health' and saw some Asian guy about my age. I thought to myself, I've lived here 12 years and I know every kid who grew up here but I don't recognise this guy. When I was younger, I knew every single person between the ages of 5 and 12 within half a kilometre. So to meet a new face startled me. Also since my mum talks about realty a lot, I don't remember new people moving in around the area. Dismissing it, I continued to walk. Only for him to say 'hey' to me. Only for me to realise it's a guy I was really good friends with for about 5 years. It was really awkward since I walked right past him without recognising him. Really makes me think about the paths I've taken in life, and how I've left so much behind. I began to have one of those deep moments where you take a trip down memory lane, and question "What have I done with my life? Where will I go in the future?" It also made me wonder who my friends will be in the future, (since I was still good friends with this guy in early-mid year 9). With university looming in the near future, I wonder who I'll become and how I'll interact with other people. Thinking back to primary school, I realise I was a totally different person to what I am now. Will I remain the same? Or will I once again metamorphosise into a persona that fits the people I hang out with?

Apologies for the random deep thoughts, but maybe it's a good idea to have a thought about aspects of life outside of ATAR, family, hobbies, anime, games etc. Maybe you will have an epiphany and change everything you are. Drop out of school and become a silver haired samurai. Who knows what the future may hold.

“You are the same today that you are going to be in five years from now except for two things: the people with whom you associate and the books you read.” -Charles Jones.