Things that happen to other people.

So in the holidays I went to Hawaii, spent four days at Lahaina, Maui and another six at Honolulu, Oahu. The culture is pretty tourist based and seems to have lost all its value, focussing on making money more than keeping their- this sounds like navigating the global so I'm gonna stop. It was rather uneventful except for almost dying in the middle of the ocean. Very nasty affair. Must remember never to go on a boat again. But I got rescued by the Coast Guard which was fun, albeit borderline conscious.

After I got back not much happened for the next couple of weeks, spent most of my time playing Left 4 Dead 2, until I received 2nd prize on Steam's Christmas Giveaway. However due to my laziness, I didn't update my wishlist, resulting on winning prizes from last year's giveaway. I still got myself BF: Bad Company 2, COD: Black Ops, Monday night combat, Poker night at the inventory and Dead Rising 2.

The other night I had a sleepover with about 25 other guys. No homo. Pretty much gamed all night and morning. By 11am the next morning I was in need of some proper food, because this is all we ate.
















I reckon after seeing 50 odd packets of migoreng getting cooked, you sort of lose your appetite. Should have tried using the bathtub rather than just 1 pot.











As the night progressed and the early hours came by, people started collapsing all over the place. Which is why we decided to mess with their sleeping bodies. People slept with crap on their faces for up to an hour, before they moved and turned in their sleep.
























The other day I went to continue my pool aspirations despite considerable failure, afterwards leading to one of the best situational photos of all time. While eating at an underground Asian food court, a, shall we say dark-skinned fellow, appeared with a bottle of Coke. Now most people should be aware of the 'Share a Coke with xxx' campaign. Well this is what he got.

However as university approaches, there's going to be less time for fun and games, but don't ever forget to enjoy yourselves.

"He dived into the conversation like a widow's peak!" - Shinpachi

Pool, Amnesia, Sleeping, Reddit

Went to play pool a couple of weeks ago at Cityheroes and found something new that I'm interested in. I also invented a few new styles of playing, only one of which I've decided to keep using after the incident with the ceiling light. Post-pool I saw the below par film Immortals, but I got my fill on popcorn and some decent action so I guess it was worth it. One highlight of the night included seeing a guy getting an 81,000+ combo on Dance Dance Revolution. The craziest bit was that he wasn't Asian.

So the other night I went with a group of guys to play Amnesia: the Dark Descent. To be honest the majority of the game was rather slow paced and relatively boring, but worth it for the scary moments. The puzzles were beyond irritating and ragequit worthy on separate occasions. However many highlights include: when Pop came out of the closet, the melting portrait, forgetting to close the door (biiiig tip for those who plan to play). Hopefully some of it was captured on film and will be posted up on YT soon. For those brave soldiers who plan to play this game alone, I'm glad I've known you, goodbye.

And for those who are too scared and require a party, then have fun sleeping the night after. I had great difficulty sleeping despite being awake for 30 hours straight, however by the time I did fall asleep I slept 18. Now my sleeping routine is so messed up I might as well throw my clock away.

I saw a joke on Sickipedia that was really meaningful for once.
"Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he can rob the world." Shiiiiit son. I've also browsed Reddit endlessly for trivia, jokes, and anything remotely interesting which has resulted in quite a lot of good results. Too many to share, but I definitely recommend a good browsing of that site.

Lastly I must recommend To Sir with Love (Korean film) as it was one of the best movies I've seen in a looong time. Be careful not to download the other films as many films have the same title and have nothing in common. (Unless of course you have morals and whatnot and want to rent.)

"Have you ever heard of a penile brake?"

Some of you may know I tutor primary school children at my house. Well fortunately this week I got some serious bug that's fucked up my throat which means I've avoided teaching for another week. This is like the 10th time, and when I called up the mother, she was borderline pissed off over how often I'm sick. Oh yeah? Well your youngest son is a fucking retard. How do you like that? How do you forget the concept of subtraction? FFFUUUUUUUU

I was reading the newspaper the other day and saw some guy who's a minister of racism or something like that. His name is Tokyo Sexwale. That's an African name, so I'm assuming it wasn't so funny when he was growing up, but his name is Tokyo Sexwale. Wow, gg.

Had a sleepover at a Lebanese mansion the other day and watched Hatchet which is an awesome horror movie. I then watched the sequel by myself which was equally awesome. For those that saw the first one, you gotta see what happens next, also more cool murders, very gory. Very excited about the trequel coming out next year.

The formal is coming up soon and may be the last time the grade is gathered together. I wish I had my own suit, but my mum is giving me handmedowns. The suit is so old the white fabric is turning yellow. Thankfully I'm not a girl and have to go through all the makeup and hair bullshit. Anyway hope everyone has lots of funz.

Recently finished watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer which was frickin' brilliant. For those that don't know, it's a supernatural/drama/slice of life with some horror and some comedy thrown in as well. 144 one hour episodes is quite a commitment, which makes watching it very easy to put off. But the best thing about it is the maturation of both the actors and the writing, with the first season very PG rated but the final season has lots of depth and development. Joss Whedon is the creator who also made Firefly, Dollhouse, Angel and Serenity and is a fucking genius.

New things, old things and future things

During the school holidays I had the wonderful opportunity to do lots of things I've never done before. I turned up for my first court hearing, and despite how formal and respectable a Court of Law seems, the lawyers/magistrates/registrars were joking around before and during my hearing. Also, the waiting room outside was filled with bogans and crackheads which left me with no sense of belonging.
I'm also seeing a 'natural healer' who's clearly a gypsy trying to consume my youth. She makes me drink some weird concoction and I have to do acupuncture every week, which I've never tried before.
I also got a crepe at Mothers Crepe which was pretty awesome. PS I have coupon for their stuff, so ask me if you want one.
I also went jewellery shopping a couple months ago and went into one of those high class ones, where everything is white and only old people work there. They even had an old school scale used to weigh the diamonds and shit. Then I went to a more mainstream store and it suddenly seemed really cheap. Then I went to an accessory store and found the true meaning to cheap. After going to that super expensive store and realising one ring is worth more than me, it put perspective on value for me. And I've also decided to never get married cos that shit is waaaaay overpriced. I'll get a Burger Ring or something.

Lots of people have asked me where names/nicknames come from. Starting with 'Bob'. Quote A. Chin: "it was back in the first weeks of Year 7 on the Carlingford services. Think Fifi asked what your name was, and you answered Bob. Then Fifi introduced you to everyone as Bob. Think the name stuck ever since." This was after I asked him where the hell my name came from since I'd forgotten myself.
Gamers have also asked me quite often where 'tadfg' comes from. Well the first time I made a gaming account it was a Runescape account. Since I had no names in my head, I just mashed the keyboard and tadfg popped out. So I've used it ever since.

I saw an awesome quote by some junior on Facebook: "If you keep comparing today to the past, you will never improve. The only way to improve is to compare today to your vision of the future". His name is Bob so I'm not surprised he's so smart. I Googled it just to check if it was original and I found no similar results. Not bad junior boy, not bad.

I bet most people have been thinking over the last few months what they hope to do after the HSC. I too have been thinking this, and so I made a short list:

• All you can eat buffet with friends/eating competition
  
• Horror movie marathon
• Oddball marathon
• Start a new MMORPG
• Grow a moustache
• Empty out my anime 'plan-to-watch list'
  
• Find the seven dragonballs

One of those is obviously pretty impossible. Every time I watch something, my plan-to-watch list just gets longer.

My advice for those stressed during HSC, play some Magical Banana!

"Magical Banana! Banana reminds me of yellow! Hai!"
"Yellow reminds me of the flames on that day..."

Hospital

Although most people know my situation now, some people I haven't had a chance to tell what's been happening. Couple of weeks ago an incident occurred which led to me being admitted into a hospital in the psychiatric ward. Although I believed I was perfectly fine psychologically, the doctors were convinced I needed some time to 'rehabilitate'.

Anyways, that's over and done with, but there are still lots of issues to resolve regarding my HSC, university course choice, and place of residence as well as further therapy and legal issues. Thankfully I've avoided criminal charges but I am still due to turn up in court this month. Due to all these issues and exams coming up again, this blog will have to be on hiatus again until next month at least.

Not to worry though, everything is fine, I'll be back to my usual immature self soon enough.

For now I will post random pictures I took on my phone.

Spray some of this on yourself and people will be 'mirin'.











Found this in the waiting room at the doctor's. This belongs in the same series as Bob Fail.











Watching Gintama on TV. Somehow even funnier than before.










Totoro the rock star.















Hoooly shit someone used too much Mirin seasoning 'cos you be 'mirin. Look at all the glitterz in my hat.









Good luck everyone with whatever you're doing and don't name your kid Jugem-Jugem Shit-Tossing The Life Of Shin-chan's Two-Day-Old Underwear Balmung Fezalion Isaac Schneider 1/3True Love 2/3 Hangnail Anxiety Betreyal Knows My Name Or Does It Really Ignore Calls Squid Dogfish Halibut Trout-Cod Dogfish This Is a Different Dogfish,I'm Talking About The Dogfish Shark Kaluga Angler Ray Yuuteimiyaoukimukou Pepepepepepepepepepepepe All's Well That Ends Well Runny Diarrhea.

Happy birthday, Merry christmas and I wish you all a good Fakinaway.

Songs, movies, crime

I've been listening to some new songs recently, mostly softer songs including: 'It's nice to be alive' by Ball Park Music, 'Tiny dancer' and 'your song' by Elton John, 'Wish you were here' by Pink Floyd and everything by the Foo Fighters 'cos they're freaking awesome.

Lots of new stuff on the other blog, go check it out for movie, TV, music etc. reviews.

The other day some random robbed a house at gunpoint a few houses away from me. Now my mum's gone all anal about security. Yesterday night I had my blinds open and she runs in screaming: "Do you want to die!? Leaving the blinds open is inviting murderers in!" Seriously I would not be scared of some crackhead running into my house, I'm Asian, I know kung fu.

Went to school the other day and on the way back some random Asians in a white van asked me if I wanted to buy a 3D TV or a sound system. Their story was that they had too many 'at the warehouse' and needed to get rid of a few. Most suspicious bullshit I have ever heard. I would not be too surprised if these were the guys who robbed the house.

I love how London is hosting the Olympics in 11 months, but half the city is in flames due to rioting, they are so screwed. News out a few days ago that prisoners are being transported to other cities due to overcrowding in the prisons. If the government had just given them a stimulus package this wouldn't have happened.

Recently started watching Hajime no Ippo which is a boxing based anime. Previously I believed it was overrated, but it is quite enjoyable despite the weird animation style and quality. Baka to Test also seems good, but yet to get very far into it.

"The soul of a Dakini...is stuck in the dirtiest place in this world!" -Hijikata & Gintoki

Exams, bludging, boobs

So the exam week has started and by the sounds of things everything has started off all right. Today was Maths and Ext 2 Maths which meant it was probably the most important day of the exam weeks. I reckon I did rather well considering my almost total lack of preparation, but I did manage to prove 2=0 and that a young boy runs faster than a bus. Some mistakes were obviously made.

Last night it was maths cramming, so to help myself get into 'the zone', I played some good ol' Team Fortress 2. I've finally learnt to play combat medic and got a 12 kill streak. Some of the people were just stunned when they saw me running at them and died due to the element of surprise. Unfortunately I later died to the element of fire, which unsurprisingly overpowers the element of surprise. I also got an 11 kill streak today as sniper using flick shots. Some of the flukiest headshots in gaming history were made.

Lastly I'd just like to say I was touching lots of boob this afternoon. So squishy.

Edit: Click this link for no reason. Thank you for your participation.

This blog belongs to Takeshi.

University, similes, haggling, pawn

Due to a bad case of can'tbefucked, I've put off doing a lot of things, including exams. Hopefully I'll 'recover' from my illness. Anyways, to get a sense of routine, I've decided to only blog on Wednesdays.

Today I went to UWS Parramatta campus to do some studying away from public libraries. I totally forgot uni students are having their break, so the place seemed like a ghost town. Compared to Macquarie (which I've been to for many excursions), UWS Parra is tiny as shit.

Which brings me to the English language. Due to the fact that it's constant, I don't think people are away just how messed up slang has become. I remember doing a maths paper and yelling "Why is this dick so hard!?", and everyone around me was like "TMI dude." But the major issue I have is with contemporary similes. E.g. An essay question was very difficult = That question was hard as shit. Now I don't know about most people, but isn't shit soft? Not like I go around pressing on shit, but it's being used totally incorrectly. Also is the word convenient totally inconvenient or what? The word easy is way more convenient.

So I was going to buy some food afterwards and realised I was 5 cents short of the price. At first I decided to haggle before realising this wasn't an Asian store. What's the most you've ever haggled from a non-Asian store? I got 10 cents off lunch from a white lady once, but that's because I rarely bother.

Is Lexi Belle hot or what?

Riddle: What has four lips, four cheeks and three holes?

Good luck for next week and remember, next time you are eating crabs, be careful of gorillas.

Being board

So the last week has been relatively empty seeing as exams are approaching, however I did find time to watch quite a few more films. In the future, any movie review related material will be found on this blog, which I am collaborating with a few other guys on. My first post was on Quentin Tarantino films which I have watched recently, which include: Inglourious Basterds, Reservoir Dogs and Pulp Fiction.

I found this picture randomly. Cutest pooping picture ever? The mother is looking at the baby's ass like 'wtf is that shit?' LOL











Seeing as English is the first subject to be examined on, I think it fitting, that it's the one I'm least prepared for. With just over a week left, I still haven't begun my module C essay or my belonging creative. I do have a good ability to crap a story out in 40 minutes, but to do so in the trials may be a bit more difficult. Therefore I've decided to write another troll story, so give me any idea which you think is funny, and I'll try to chuck it in. So far it already has a hobo who lives under a bridge called Troll, and the plot revolves around incontinence. Cannot wait for the comments.

I've been wanting to watch a good horror movie recently, probably looking at The Exorcist, but if anyone knows a really good one, give me suggestions please.

What would you do with a trillion dollars? I ask myself that question all the time and try to come up with the best idea. I absolutely love Louis C.K.'s bit on having 85 billion dollars, where he suggests trolling a whole city by opening a chain of stores called 'Pet Ass Fuckers' and just spending all the money keeping the stores open 24/7 for 50 years. Genius. But I really like Oda's One Piece manga's plot, in which a large sum of money is hidden somewhere, and everyone is looking for it. I would build the biggest maze in the world, and guard it with like 10,000 security guards and lasers and wolves and traps and if you actually get to the end, there's just a mirror and you're meant to reflect at what you've achieved. I seriously cannot think of a non-troll thing I would spend a trillion dollars on.

Anyways, just a shorter post today, get back to studying peeps!

"Shoguns have traditionally worn tighty whities" -Shogun

Finding myself

So I've been spending the last week or so talking to specialists and crap, and talked to my dad who sounds really old. Made me feel a little emotion at the fact that I haven't seen him in so long that he sounds like an old man already. I spent a day at my relatives' place who I believe are like second aunt/uncle/cousin, but I'm not good with the whole bloodline thing. It was nice to see people who I haven't talked to in like a decade, plus my cousins are hot! I wonder if that's weird.
Does anyone see any resemblance in this picture? I didn't see it and don't really see it, but do you? (Hint: One of them is closely related to me, the others less so).







I was reading Prince of Tennis and saw this:

Lol.






So the other day I ate a pigeon and the typical Asians left the head on. It was the guiltiest meal I ever had as I ripped the pigeon apart while its lifeless eyes stared back at me. Bloody hell it tasted good though.

I've been watching Hokuto no Ken recently which is Fist of the Northern Star. The best line ever has got to be "you're 100 years too early to..." which is over used in every single fighting anime ever, but still awesome. Also just to show how over the top Hokuto no Ken is, one of the episode titles was "I will wipe away your tears with my fists". What. The. Fuck. What does that- I don't even.

Anyway, I've been meeting lots of new people recently and it's been weird knowing how it will turn out. Most of the people who've known me for a long time will probable agree to what I'm about to say. There are three major phases of knowing me. The first is when we're still kinda strangers and there's a level of awkwardness due to necessary niceties, and I'm sort of a normal person. Once that stage is over, you get to meet the asshole. I act like a total douche to everyone around me for the lols. Then there's a fork. Either run far and fast or stick around for some more. I guess most of the people reading this and I say most not all, sighed and said "fine, whatever, he's not that bad". So if you're new to me, be warned.

Something random I thought of the other day was my funeral song. You know the song that's played when you corpse is being lowered or some shit? Bohemian Rhapsody please. Just tell my mum to stfu and play that song or I will zombify myself and kick your asses.

Out of having too much time I made this. I guess the facts are random and don't mean that you 'know' me, but whatever, I might add some extras, suggest me.

Also for anyone doing the HSC (which is like everyone...) this is a good Bio/Chem website with notes made by a pro ex student. Some of you have already found the notes but just for the others here ya go.

I know this has been a big post, but I've had a lot to do and think about, and if you can be bothered reading, I'll do a big movie post on the weekend since I've seen so much crazy shiet this last week.

Good luck with studying, Trials, UMAT, IB or getting TF2 achievements (though I'm not sure you should be doing that last one).

"Did you find the beetle Toshi?"
"Err we did find it...but it suddenly transformed"
"Harikiri!" -Hijikata & Matsudaira

Epping, muckup, eating and Hornsby

So the last week and a bit have been so eventful I don't even remember what happened. I guess I'll start with the muck-up photo which was pretty good, but I felt a little stupid not dressing up as anything, since nothing like this will come again. But thumbs up to Pyro, the girls dressed as lollies, and the gaylords. Dang's such a man.

Anyway, I went to Epping with Marshmallow to bum around Morning Glory and saw some sweet ass stuff. Eventually she settled on a medium sized Totoro doll. Must find the smaller family members, so kawaii~. Afterwards we went for sushi at the Jap restaurant on the main street, and managed to get two balls down her throat. Takoyaki is pretty awesome. Also got my hands on some proper sushi, not some school canteen shit, holy crap the honeyed egg was awesome. Also first time eating pickled ginger. That's some weird shit right there.


But not as bad as some of the shit I ate later that week. During some lunch (forgot the day) we had the grade vs grade eating challenge. Our team consisted of Mouse, Big Allan, Andy and Gusta, but Gusta pulled out so I subbed in. Unfortunately I was overconfident and we ended up being beaten by the juniors due to my shit eating skills, sorry peeps. For those that are curious, I ate a preserved chili, a gherkin, a pack of spicy preserved Chinese veggies, about 12 slices of bread (may have cheated here, cough cough), a few handfuls of some disgusting green shit, an eighth of an onion, a few 100mL of Solo and a few random lollies, oh and about half a kilo of my own vomit. Mmm-mmm. Yummy. Later that day in Chemistry I lost a Batsu game and ate some soap. Oh the joy.

So onto some more serious/mindfuck stuff, on Saturday I got in another argument with my mum and went for a 'walk', that lasted about 23 hours. Spent most of the night bumming around parra, then caught a train to Hornsby, mainly because I'd never been there. On arrival I looked at the 'next train' sign and it said 3:53am. It was 12:50 at the time. Fuck. Spent the next 3 hours lying on random surfaces, witnessed masses of drunk teenagers stumbling home, saw a hobo seemingly die, then crawl away after an hour of sleeping on his face. All in all it was a terrifying experience yet enlightening in a way. After the train came, the rest is a blur 'til about 3 the next afternoon. Somehow I got from Hornsby to Carlingford despite the fact I'm sure I only caught 1 train. You know the saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away?" Well I lived off 4 apples and a piece of bread and ended up in hospital for 2 days. Myth busted. I do remember at some point I believed I was a character in someone else's dream, and that when they awoke, I would die. Afterwards I realised I wasn't in a dream and was all like "Holy shit! Mindfuck! I totally exist!" Scary but maybe a life lesson. Saves me buying LSD. So yeah, I got 'arrested', sent to hospital in an ambulance *Weeeee* and spent a few days in a psychiatric ward and chatted a lot with random people about life and shit. I found it funny I had my shoes confiscated, in case I strangled my self with the laces. But the best moment was when I was having a shower, and this sign next to the plastic chair said: "Caution patients! A previous patient had his genitalia stuck in the drainage slats. Please be aware". ROFL At the end of it all, I'm not really sure I learnt all that much, I met a lot of depressed people, and some really cool people e.g. a female janitor at Hornsby station, who stays up every night wiping up teenage vomit on the platforms, yet still enjoying her job and life or Martin the nurse, who went through depression at a young age, but found something to live for i.e. nursing. I guess it's just important to find something to enjoy, or aim for a goal, which unfortunately I don't have right now.

Random question: my mum tracked down my dad who is still alive, should I make an effort to communicate? Personally I feel uncomfortable letting someone in on my life, who's never cared about me, but still, this might be a last chance. Advice me please.

Joke: What did the hungry hen say to his friend? "I'm feeling a little peckish".

So most of us have gotten some exam results back myself included. Motherfucked. Yeah, my mum raped my ass in a figurative sense, but english and economics can turn it around, fingers crossed.

Onto funnier events, I was walking home today and felt like I wanted to beat The Russian at attacking lifeless objects. So I put my hands in my pockets, and fell face forth, thus skidding down them on my face. Stairs 1 Me 0.

You know when you graze yourself and the skin turns white temporarily, before all the blood suddenly comes out? I love that moment. I also can't eat properly now, because moving my jaw up and down reopens the scratches for some retarded reason. Karma? Not that bitch again.


Anyways, I'd like rage like a rage-amuffin at Steam for making Team Fortress 2 free. It was one of the rare, simple, mmo's that wasn't filled with downers. I'm sure that it is now going to be flooded with vaginafaces who just play sniper and shoot arrows all over the place. Fooarck.

Riddle: There are two sisters standing in front of a forked path. One tells the truth, the other lies. One path leads to danger, the other safety. Who do you ask, and what is your question?

Lastly I'm just a little annoyed in my lack of planning for muck-up photos. I left it to the night before, as is my method for everything, and now am plain out of ideas. Maybe I'll be 'guy who attacked stairs with face'. Or go naked. It's a coin flip.

Enjoy life everybody, try the Ebi bun at Breadtop, it's awesome and don't forget who's yo' daddy.

"Must f-f-find a D-d-doraemon!" -Sakata Gintoki

New computer

So this post is nothing more than to show off my new comp. I got it yesterday, but was too tired last night to set it up. For those that don't know, my retarded relatives screwed up their computer, so needed a new one, while mine works fine. However when I opened up the tower this morning (just to see the inside) I think I jizzed in my pants. So while my mum went shopping and my sister went to work, I swapped it with my computer. Genius. Did someone ask specs? AMD Phenom II Quad core, 8GB RAM, 1TB Hard drive, 2GB Graphics card and finally got a Blu-ray drive. I believe I landed myself a sweet ass ride. Since I thought why not, I also made my mum buy a new monitor that has built in speakers for the lols.

And now I will definitely get started on Ancient. I promise. Oh wait it's due Tuesday. Hmmm...

Movies, Comedians, Tutoring and DoTA

If you know the last quote I posted then you'll know I watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off. At first I thought it was a bit overrated but ended up being one of the most enjoyable movies I've watched in recent years. The plot revolves around a boy half way through year 12 (coincidence?) who comes up with an extremely elaborate plot to skip a day of school. He ends up having the most amazing day ever, while escaping his parents', sister's and principal's attempts to catch him. Fantastic movie that is super relatable, despite being 25 years old. I give it 9/10.

Another movie I just watched is My Neighbour Totoro. Expecting a lame child's movie I was surprised by the magic that Miyazaki brings to a simple story with absolutely no plot. Although compared to Walt Disney and Miyazaki's later films, it lacks in both plot and character, but is still worth a watch, even if just for the overly cute Mei. (Looks like you Marshmallow). 8/10

I've been watching some stand-up comedy on Youtube again and have rewatched some of my favourites. Tim Vine is a brilliant one-liner comedian who has the toppest jokes. Dead Cat Bounce is a comedy band with a few songs, but are well worth a listen. I especially liked this one. Tim Minchin is an absolutely genius comedy musician who has some seriously deep and crazy songs but is good for a laugh. Finally my all time favourite comedian has to be Louis C.K. who talks about everyday life while not sounding boring. He also does some TV shows with this clip being one of the best (WARNING: extremely sacreligious not for Catholics).

I've wormed my way out of avoiding chemistry, maths and English tutoring for this weekend, but I still had to give lessons to my primary students. Normally the year six kid is pretty fine 'cos we can have intellectual conversations, but the year two kid can be a bit of a pain. However today he brought an assignment from school which required cutting and pasting. The best hour of fun I've had this year. It really takes me back to when life was just so simple and innocent. Except for a certain negro we all know. (Hint: the guy who got sent to remedial 'cutting' classes).

So since it's been exam week and all I started watching movies and DoTAing like a fucktard. So far I have been raped in every single game I've played. So can anyone who sucks shit please verse me to give me some confidence.

Punchline: Lemon-nades.

Riddle: How many slow pokes can a Slowpoke poke if a slow poke could poke slow?

Convo I had with a guy at Harvey Norman today:

Him: (With a big smile) Sooo it's veerrryyy good if you bought this protection. Full security for 3 years at just $30 a year? Can you get it any cheaper? (In regards to our new computer)
Me: Yes. I can get it for free.
Him: (Fully serious) We will not be responsible for any damage that occurs to your system while using pirated software. If anything goes wrong, it will not be covered at all.

I almost laughed out loud at his face, he looked so pissed.

"I hung a giant ass noose off my giant ass dick" -Shy Ronnie

Exams, DoTA, Facebook

So today was the biggest 'OMFG I'm suiciding' exam ever, but at least it's over and done with.

Since the exams were on and all I decided to start playing DoTA on Boredaussies again because that's the natural studying routine. Although it was somewhat expected, the level of rape I received was quite dispiriting. Last night I got destroyed by Gaymond's little brother who's like 14 or something. But then I felt so good when I owned some guy and he rage quitted. So fulfilling =). Anyways, add tadfg if anyone actually plays.

The other day I 'ran' into an old friend on Facebook. Haven't spoken in 8 years and suddenly I'm like "Holy shit! It's 2011? I'm gonna be an adult in 6 months? Fuckdatshit, I want my youth back!". Anyways, it's nice to catch up with people who you haven't spoken to in ages. Sort of nostalgic and warming. Also on Facebook, I realised my sister has 330 more friends than me. Super-depressing. I don't even know 330 people!

So if you haven't already figured it out, the answer to my riddle is: 'The love game". And the punchline if I didn't already tell you is "melted cheese sandwiches". I hope none of you get the joke, because that shows you have some innocence. Somehow I didn't get it until 'twas explained to me. Then I felt sick.

Joke: What explosive is sour? (Please don't give me some shit about acids, I've had enough chemistry.)

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller

Exams, TF2, Grossing out and a New Segment!

So during the last week it's been pretty crazy so I've learnt to find relaxation techniques. This is one of them. One of the most relaxing yet addictive simple flash games I've played in a while. I've also rearranged my room and computer equipment so that I can work in bed. Unfortunately this has led to a lot more procrastination than I'd hoped. Meh.

I recently found a video I was involved in earlier this year. This is just some random crap the PANTS group on Team Fortress 2 decided to mess around with. I was fortunate enough to be involved in "build so much stuff the server crashes" and "fireworks on halloween". We also filmed a Rocky film reproduction but it got taken down. Even more unfortunately, the PANTS group blew up because of real life issues. :'(

So recently my wisdom teeth have been growing out and it wasn't too bad at first. But one of the top teeth pushed off part of my gum, and now there's a piece of gum dangling at the back of my jaw. If that didn't gross you out, then maybe this will. WARNING: Dudes shouldn't watch it. Or chicks for that matter.

New Segment Time!

I've been reading some blogs recently and some people have recurring segments, so I thought I might start one. Since I spend heaps of time reading crap that is clearly a waste of memory, I'm going to put some of it to use.

Riddle: What game requires only one bat but two balls?
Clue: Two balls are normal but not necessary.

(Yes I know it's an easy one, but I'm tired right now so I can't be bothered coming up with something better.)

Joke: Why don't you give an old woman cunnilingus?

I'll post answer and punchline next time. I'm still making my mind up about 'prizes'.

So good luck with exams everyone and try not to commit suicide. If the pressure gets too big, then:

"Turn the Kabuki district into a bright red flower garden!" - Man Birabirabirabirabirabirako

Exams and trolls

It's Wednesday, Wednesday, gotta do work on Wednesday! Studying, studying yeah!

'Kay I'm gonna stop trolling now. Exams are coming up for the fourth time since I started blogging. I feel both old and tired. But soon it's all going to be over, just 135 days til our first HSC exam. My timetable is relatively well spaced and the timing is mostly pretty good except for 1:55pm Economics exam. It doesn't end til 5 pm. How the fuck am I going to stay awake that long? Should have done phys, biggest regret ever.

Onto more pressing matters, everyone around school's been asking me the same question and bugging me about it. I would like to make a public announcement that I am not going out with anyone right now nor in the near future. So can people please stop trolling me with stupid comments and calling me a pussy *glares at camera girl*.

I found an awesome movie. I'm not surprised the first was so good that they needed a sequel. Have got to watch that some day.

Anyways, good luck on the oncoming exams, if you are reading this, don't forget eco and chem are due tomorrow.

I'd just like to finish with a classic that always make my day brighter. Next time you run out of toilet paper just remember this quote.

"Do you know why god gave us two hands?" - Sakata Gintoki

Spelling, hot pot and classical musicians

So the other day I looked at the shopping list and saw 'cock'. I asked my mum what she intended to write, and she couldn't remember, but apparently she was half way through a word and went to do something else. Later she remembered it was Coke. Top asian-ness.

We had hot pot on the weekend and for once I actually did the preparation. It's actually quite fun to cook with lots of random alien items. My mum has a special recipe for the dipping sauce which includes: 1 part bean curd, 1 part sesame paste and 1 part garlic shoot paste. However it looked like 3 part turd. Don't you just hate it when you can't get the garlic out of the jar? Or when you're so bored you just chew the garlic? No they're not euphemisms. My mum bought sweetened garlic which marinates in a jar. However it soaks up a lot of the honeyed water, thus expanding wider than the hole it went into. I spent 10 minutes shoving a knife in to the jar to chop up the garlic and remove it piecemeal. Who needs knife round when you have a jar of garlic.

Most of you should know the classical musician in our grade. The other day I saw him staring at the sky looking for an answer. He reminded me of Ayu from Kanon (2006), searching for something but not sure what exactly he was looking for. Maybe he was searching for a dream, a friend, hope or maybe he's just a tard.

Lastly I'm just gonna rant about that little junior who I'll nickname 'The Little D'. For music room people, you know the guy I'm talking about. Today I saw him standing in the quad singing. I deserve a medal for self constraint from smashing his face in.

"Caaaardboooaaarduuu loolululoooo" - Madao.

Long time no see

I apologise to my masses of fans for not blogging for a while. Been lazy and busy. More lazy.

So during the holidays I went to the gym with Pop and owned myself pretty hard. I took a couple pics of my shoulders afterwards.















I have no idea what the hell happened, thankfully its gone away.

So the other day I went for a jog and felt a leaf land on my hair. When I went up to knock it off my hand felt wetness. Checking my fingers I saw yellow liquid. I ran home and went to wash out my hair, and spent the next ten minutes scraping bird shit from my scalp. I could feel the lumps that had solidified and almost puked through my eyes.

Anyways, have you ever walked down the cleaning products aisle and seen a product called 'Omo'. The other day I had the urge to add an H to the front of every box. A similar idea popped in my head when I saw a truck with ANA written on the side.

Lastly, here's the long awaited short story I wrote for Extension English. At one point I was so bored I decided to see if I could get the phrase 'ass dick' into my story. Here's my attempt.

Edit: Due to retardation by Blogger, the pages are ordered 1,3,2,4.

Anime and rock music

For those who don't know, there is a classic series called Cowboy Bebop which has been one of the highest rated animated series ever. Shown in the year 1998, it lasted 26 episodes and spawned a film and one special. However it did not exactly end there. The plot: a wild, rash, powerful guy and his calmer and more thoughtful friend travel together. Along the way they meet a young girl, and the series continues with the girl repeatedly getting kidnapped and requiring the guys to save her. The series is relatively episodic with a big resolution at the end. There is also a very funny episode involving shrooms. If this sounds familiar it's because that is also the plot of Samurai Champloo. The unoriginal creator pretty much remade the whole series in a different setting with new art design. What a noob.

While watching Kanon (2006) the other day, one particular character who was a plain bitch suddenly turned nice and cute. I was confused by the sudden deep personality change. So to the MAL forums I went. I swear, every second comment said: she is so gonna die. Why must Key do this? Does being a likeable character result in instant death? I'm now too unmotivated to watch a show bound to end in everyone dying. Warn me of any such shows in the future.

I found this pretty good quiz involving rock music knowledge. I was surprised by the amount of metal/heavy rock involved. But I only got 11. What a fail.