Asian, women and cars

Recently I've noticed that there are some really cool phone numbers. An easily remembered one I saw recently was 9222 2222. 13 37 ?? was another one I saw, the last two digits being entirely insignificant. Now imagine a fob buys a house and gets the number 8888 8888. Eight 8s? He'll probably yell out "Fah tsai lah!" and come in his pants.

Onto something my mum did which severely pissed me off. She got spam mail telling her she could make 1000's of dollars a month with their amazing new bullshit. Despite my blatant attempts at persuading her otherwise, she decided it would be a good idea to send $200 to an offshore company. I'll spare the details of the scam, but say that my family is now a few trillion Zimbabwean dollars poorer.

This may surprise, but my mum is not only Asian and a woman but also drives a car! Being all of the above it is no surprise our car is royally fucked. Despite the fact the engine has had trouble starting for the last 2 months, my mum thought the car would survive til our next 6-monthly service. This has led to the engine being absolutely unable to initiate, and we must now jump start the car if we want to go anywhere. Time to call NRMA.

Live long and prosper~

Ikea, the Simpsons and 40 hour famine

On the weekend my mum made me go buy a table I don't want nor need. Apparently shoving a random table in my room wasn't enough, oh no; she really wants me miserable so we went to buy a table from Ikea. Ikea can be described quite simply. It is a maze which continually forces you to look at cheap but mostly useless stuff, while the only exit is one floor down and requires about half a kilometre of travel to reach. If you buy anything which you most likely will, you must then spend hours working out how to build it. Then to top it off, they sell extremely cheap hot dogs possibly made from the left over meat from other sausage factories. It is a hell maze and I was lucky to get out alive.

Onto more pressing matters, I have spent the last year or so analysing the Simpsons. Too much English classes? Maybe. But I've realised just how many political, social and sexual jokes the writers shove into each episode. I can quite confidently guarantee that in every episode there is at least 3 jokes which an 8 year old wouldn't and shouldn't understand. E.g. in the episode where Homer gives Marge paddle pop sticks to make models he says: "I've never been so happy to give you wood". I was utterly shocked at the Sickipedia-esque joke. But sometimes the writers also go the other way, when Homer parodised a quote from Casablanca, which is such a sophisticated form of comedy as compared to the previous joke. I wonder what other shows are brainwashing the children of tomorrow?

Finally I'd like to talk about an annoying thing about myself. I realised the other day that I swear way too much after a certain conversion:

Friend 1: You swear so much, do you have tourettes or something?
Me: F*ck no!
Friend 2: Hah! You just swore again
Me: Ah shit!

After such an outburst I wondered maybe I should not talk for the nearing 40 hour famine? Ah fuck it.

Annoying siblings and religion

Most people have younger siblings, and all of them are annoying. My sister is 3 years younger, so she has had no function in my life (she's bad at computer games, sports, and follows exactly what other people say meaning she's got 0 opinions, ergo I can't discuss anything with her because I know the answer already). Anyway, recently she started playing the drums again, and has got some sort of retardation where she has to tap or smack things all day long. The car window, dinner bowls, walls, doors, tables etc. It's driving me nuts. To add to her annoyance, she got a little plastic whistle which she blows 1 hour a day. I have a feeling she'll be tapping and blowing many more things in years to come.

The issue of banning the burka has been discussed internationally, with some countries or states deciding to ban it. I do have a slight issue with the fact that it's a plain disguise. But what I'm more annoyed about is that only burkas are being targeted. I saw a fob the other day, but he couldn't see me. His hair covered half his face. Is that not a disguise I ask? I would feel much more comfortable if long fringes are banned, rather than a religious clothing, even if religion is total bullshit. So from now on I'm bringing scissors with me everywhere.

May the force be with you~

All the small things and more racism?

As it's nearing exams time, study notes are the major bee archers for the next few weeks. But sometimes it's the small things that tend to annoy. Example: my mum stayed home to take me to the doctor at 12pm (she does get points for that), but still made me wake up at 7:10 to go to school myself. Another small thing I recently noticed, is why do the stickwomen on the toilet doors get dresses, but the guys are naked? Food for thought.

Some shocking images were recently brought to my attention, and this really surprised me and made me go: "Oh yeaaaah."

Most people have seen the caution wet floor is slippery sign but what about these?






























Explanations?
Black people fuck animals
Black people are slaves
Black people are drunkards
Black people are gay
White people are heroic firefighters

After seeing these pictures I ask you, what the fiddlestick is wrong with our society?